I am proud black bisexual woman.
I have been living in my truth for quite some time. The journey has been both beautiful and laborious. In fact, I have lost “friends” and even family members along the way, (I will blog about that later).
As some of you can relate, I have received a great deal of INTERESTING (for lack of better words), unsolicited questions and comments. Sadly, some of these comments have been from friends and family (just keeping it real).
Here are some comments and questions that I have received: *insert eye roll*
- Do you like men or women more?
- Do you plan to marry a man or a woman?
- I use to be “bi-curious” in my college days.
- Oh, so now I have to worry about men and women? (Fragile masculinity speaking)
- How do you plan to have kids?
- Do you think it’s a sin?
- Maybe you have not found the right guy.
- I think you are just frustrated with dating right now.
- If you marry a man, would you want a girlfriend too?
I respect those with a curious spirit. But some of these comments have left me feeling frustrated and downright offended. Historically, bisexual individuals have been given a host of negative labels. The most common assumption is correlating bisexuality with promiscuity.
“I said I was bisexual not promiscuous. If I choose to be promiscuous, it is because I want to be! Not because I am bisexual.”
I like to blame this negative presumption on the term “bi-curious.” This may offend some of you but I have to say it;
“What the hell is bi-curious? The entire phenomena projects this idea that bisexuality is the gray area between straight and gay.”
Allow me to speak for myself, I am not in a phase. I am not trying to figure out my sexual identity. I do not need to be drenched in Holy Water and most importantly,
“I am not curious about anything. I am pretty sure I am bisexual!”
The next time you find yourself in a Curious George type of mood, ask yourself
“Would you ask or say those things to a straight person?”
Now that I have gotten that out the way. Cheers to all of my beautiful, confident, and strong bisexual Queens. You are loved!