I’m not ready for a relationship

Sit down Sis and let me talk to you.

One of the most valuable lessons I have learned through the world of dating is:

If a person tells you that they are not ready for a committed relationship believe them and walk the f%@! away.

I am sure some, if not many, of you have found yourself in similar scenarios. The tale goes like this; you find someone, there is a connection, they tell you that they aren’t ready for a serious relationship, and you convenience yourself that you can change their mind. Several months later you find yourself in your feelings because “they aren’t ready for a committed relationship.” I can imagine many of you are baffled, as I have been. You may think:

What happened? I thought they changed their mind. We had a connection!

But the truth is, they told you from the jump Sis. Yes, I know it’s disappointing and I know your feelings are hurt. But trust me, just because they could not commit to you does not mean something is wrong with you. Repeat that! It is certainly a “them thing” and not a “you thing.” However, we must hold ourselves accountable. They said “I am not ready for a committed relationship.”  

“You are royalty Sis. But there is not a crown shiny enough to force a person to commit to you if they are not ready

This is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way and it took about three times for me to finally get the point.

Choose to date people that share mutual relationship goals. Be open and honest with your need for unconditional love and commitment. If you hear the words “I don’t think I am ready for a serious relationship,” WALK AWAY. Do not waste another minute or catch more feelings. The last thing you want is to end up in a situationship, I’ve been there too.

I promise you there is someone else who wants commitment and will give it to you freely. So do not waste your time trying to convenience someone that you are worthy. You are worthy! I know that, they know that, and you do too. However, this has nothing to do with worth and everything to do with two people on different paths.

Take my word Sis. We have no time to waste.

COPYRIGHT 2019 THE STILETTO FILES
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2 thoughts on “I’m not ready for a relationship

  1. LaQuasha says:

    This was me in just about every relationship I’ve had. I knew they didn’t want to commit but I held on anyway until I was miserable. Jump to present day…I am not putting myself through this anymore because…MY TIME. So what do you do when you walk away and they keep coming back. I know person is not ready to commit, I communicated my wants/needs and how we’re not on the same page, and I bowed out, gave notice and everything. I don’t understand why person keeps coming back after we agreed we’re not going in the same direction. And now I’m starting to give in because I find it endearing that person keeps doing this. What is wrong with me 🤦🏾‍♀️. My crown needs a polishing. The hardest part: not catching more feelings than are warranted.

    1. Kay says:

      Great question! “What do you do if you walk away and they keep coming back?” KEEP WALKING AWAY SIS. If they are not coming back offering you full commitment, RUN. They want you at a discount. They want you to be okay with accepting less than you deserve. Give no more notices! Your absence will open space for someone else that is ready to commit or this person will get their act together.

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