As you grow physically, spiritually and emotionally your circle gets smaller. Most panic but this is actually a good thing. You attract a reflection of yourself and if your friends are not “leveling up” chances are you are pretty stagnant too.

At one point in my life I tried to hold on to friendships that I had outgrown and it drained my energy. I had to lower my vibration during each interaction and it was exhausting. It was the same drama, conversation, and poor decision making daily. I had to make some changes.

My current definition of a girl’s night out is a nice dinner, conversation, and ending the night at a nice lounge. But my former friends definition was hot wings and strip clubs. I will admit, in my early 20’s an invitation to Onyx was means for a great night. However, the present Kay can only make a trip to the strip club once a year.

Now I am sure some of you are thinking “but that’s my friend. We grew up together!”

Please excuse my abruptness but that means nothing! Not two rusty pennies Sis.

If your friends are not leveling up with you then stop reserving a seat at the table for them.

I have maintained about three friends from college, 1 ½ (the half friendship is still questionable) from high school, and gained two solid friends after my graduate studies. As you can see my circle is pretty small but is filled with individuals that I love very deeply. My friends have been there for me during some of my most darkest and rewarding moments. They have cried, laughed, put me in check, and celebrated with me. I am so grateful for them. The friends that I walked away from laughed at my darkest moments, rolled their eyes at my accomplishments, went missing during my time of need, and only called me when the same man kept repeating the same behaviors. (You know what I mean Sis!)

My standards for friendship changed drastically after college. I simply do not have time for friends that are only around when it’s convenient for them. True friends support and celebrate each other. If I win, my whole squad wins. My friends are my family!

Ask yourself:

  • Do you have questionable friends in your life?
  • Have you outgrown your childhood friends?
  • Are your friends celebrating and supporting you or secretly praying for your downfall?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, it is time to say:

I’m sorry Sis but you can’t sit with me!

Now, send notes of gratitude to your real friends! Plan a girl’s night and make vision boards about how you all plan to conquer the word.

Alexa, play FRIENDS by the Carters

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