Often we create barriers that prevent us from expanding into our best selves. Throughout my practice as a licensed therapist and soul healer, I have found commonalities in the barriers that hold so many of us hostage. As you continue to focus on reaching your highest self keep these three things in mind.
The past can enlighten our path forward or propel us toward depression and anxiety. So many times I have watched self-healers strive to forgive those that have hurt them but pay very little attention to forgiving themselves. When we succumb to guilt, shame, and anger authentic forgiveness has not occurred.
Forgiveness is accompanied by acceptance. Please do not misconstrue that acceptance means invalidation because it’s actually quite the opposite. Acceptance is embracing what was and forgiveness is welcoming what could be. In other words, when bad things happen to us a mind plagued by negative thought patterns will place us at the center of blame. Thoughts such as “I should have known better,” “It was my fault,” and “I am worthless” are common thoughts rooted in blame.
Learn to forgive yourself for the things that you did not know during a past chapter in your life. Forgive without spurring judgment and condemnation. Your past self responded with the emotional capacity that it had at that time. We cannot go back in time expecting ourselves to know then what we know now.
Give yourself compassion my dear reader. Honor the person that stands before you. Transition from seeing areas of growth as failures. The word failure alone carries a low vibration. Failure is often accompanied by an unrealistic expectation deeply rooted in perfectionism. Perfection is not something that you should strive for; it places you in a constant state of imbalance.
It is great to want to do things well but the scales become imbalanced when nothing you do is deemed good enough. This is where self-compassion comes in! I have personally transitioned from using low-vibrational words to language entrenched in triumph. Making this simple adjustment allowed me to see things from a new perspective. Instead of failure, I see every opportunity, no matter how upset or uncomfortable it makes me, as an opportunity to grow. These enriching opportunities grant me powerful moments to give myself love and grace. Underneath the heightened emotions of the moment what we are actually in search of is validation.
Learn to wink at challenges. Strengthen your ability to self-soothe and comfort yourself in moments of doubt. Stop striving for perfection. There is beauty in mistakes and challenges. Embrace every moment with compassion and understanding that you are still learning and growing.
Most of the time we create the ugly monsters that we spend a lifetime trying to run away from. Fear is a triggered response to a past event that caused you great distress. Although the situation may not be similar the feeling of being abandoned, disappointed, hurt, or betrayed haunts the present moment. I have watched so many people miss beautiful opportunities due to the crippling effects of fear.
Fear can serve as a motivation or a barrier and it is up to you to determine what it will be. It is also important to note that discomfort and fear are different emotions. Most of the time the fear of taking risks is merely discomfort with trying something new. Think about this, you get a new pair of shoes, and when you initially put them on they are tight. But the longer that you wear them and stretch out your new kicks they begin to shape your feet and the discomfort dissipates rather quickly. If you surrender to the discomfort you would have returned the shoes that you so deeply desired to have.
Sitting through a few moments or days of discomfort unleashes new life-changing opportunities. Understand that life is discomfort and each lesson in life is pushing you out of your comfort zone. Never get complicit with control. It gives you a false sense of security. You want new experiences, challenges, and opportunities for reflection. Lean into those moments and do not become paralyzed by fear.
Remember these words and bookmark this blog. Allow these reminders to serve you in times of distress, discomfort, and confusion. Healing is no easy task but I trust that you will continue on your path of enlightenment. This platform was created to support, affirm, and celebrate you.
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